Inspring stories continued....

​I realized I don't often tell the people on my list what I'm up to, or what I'm learning. And I wondered why?

Maybe there's a part of me that has been educated to not be boastful, or the part that worries that I'll sound like an evangelist, or a used car salesman stereotype - trying to convince. 

Then I realized that I just want to CELEBRATE the work I get to witness in the world and be a part of.  And I want the work of living nonviolence, of finding ways to make the world more wonderful for all by empathic listening and authentic expression, to be seen.  So here are a few stories from the field, from my life.

AND I have a request if you want to skip to the end. Or if you want, take a moment to celebrate all that is happening around the world that is valuing understanding, connection, being heard, being seen,  beonging, building trust and social movements that really serve!
For the past 10 years I've been involved in a community that supports people in bringing the work of Nonviolent Communication to the world.  People come to be supported in becoming a Certified Trainer with the Center for Nonviolent Communication. Its the community where I learned and where I became certified.  I've listened to stories from people from around the world, and many from North America that have inspired me. Its called the Trainer Candidate Community Path, because the community walks alongside on another. 

Here's a few stories from that connection

There is a man in Uganda who has by himself been spreading Nonviolent Communication in the many schools he supports and visits. He started by supporting girls to be able to stay in school by supporting schools to build water tanks so girls don't spend so much time going to get water, and by buying feminine products himself, so girls could stay in school. Then he began to support teachers, principals, parents and students to learn to communicate and care for each other that held all their needs equally.  He got them to look at the practice of caning (hitting) children for them to learn.  When it came time to have his bosses come to see his work they imagined they would see water tanks and girls in school, which they did, and yet what they saw shocked them.  They saw over 1000 people in a parade to celebrate his work and what they were most grateful for was that he had taught them Nonviolent Communication and their relationships were far better, there was more joy and more learning. 

I'm inspired by a woman I just met through the trainer candidate community that has been supporting Resgtorative Justice in a place where the governor supported diverting youth to a restorative process rather than the punitive system.  She then offers free Nonviolent Communication classes for the youth. It was so well received that the youth wanted their families to take it! 

Another woman I get to work with is in the midwest and she's been asked to support racial equity/anti-oppression work in the schools and she is supporting a research project that helps to look at how to work with the huge race issue in schools, and end the school to prison pipeline. What she's doing is creating opportunities ffor the teachers and heads of schools to be really heard and received with empathy so as to find ways that help them connect to their most marginalized students while also helping to educate those that aren't so marginalized.  Students are being heard and cared for and real solutions that are connected to the needs are emerging as they learn together as a communty.  She's supporting them to find ways to have hard conversations that bring connection, understanding and solutions based on Needs. 
​
I have stayed supporting this group of NVC trainer candidates, even after my own certification as a trainer, because I continue to learn and grow with them, and can provide a loving, warm presence for them on their journey.  Social change work is often quite draining and I hope my contributions help give those who are out spreading the work some companionship and support!  

I got to be inspired by another woman who is in Colombia spreading the movement of listening to Women's dreams as the way to heal the world!  She uses Nonviolent Communication tools and processes to support women being heard so we can heal and let the wisdom surface that will heal our world!

I'm offering the second year of a pilot, with a group of other organizers and facilitators  called Heart FELT - an online program that is a Foundational Experiential Learning Track for integrating the consciousness of shared power, interdependence, and prioritizing connection and understanding. Getting a "felt sense" of this consciouness.  I hope it will be a curriculum learning communities can use. 

Through Heart FELT I get to support a group of folks from around North America, and this year in Austarlia, in integrating Nonviolent Communication into their lives and to support them in their work with faith communities, prisons, schools, families, businesses, organizations, and social change work!  The folks in Austalia don't have NVC trainers in their area and they are going into the prison every week to support people who are interested in learning how to increase compassion for themselves and others, while also taking responsibilitiy for the impact of their words and actions.  The classes help anyone understand themselves, others, and help them learn ways to regulate and come back to a place of responding rather than reacting.  

Last year I got to support a woman in Poland who is helping to bring NVC into the prison system there for the first time. She also supported a woman who was able to express herself to a hospital Administrator about a difficult rule in regards to children in the hospital, when her own child had been severely burned and she needed to bring her nursing child with her.  The administrator was so inspired that he has begun communication training for the whole hospital so that they can learn to be responsive and caring for their patients and employees!

AND, I got to support a pilot program of bringing the Nonviolent Communication and MIndfulness classes to the Department of Corrections staff at the Women's prison here in Washington!  I've been volunteering bringing classes into the prison for the past 10 years with Freedom Project and this was the first time for me  to offer it to staff!  And with the suicide rate of DOC staff being one of the highest, they need support in how to deal with the stress of keeping eveyrone safe in such a difficult environment and still provide a supportive, caring place for inmates to heal and learn so they do not return.  I get a sense that when they have other ways to communicate it ripples out to those with the least amount of power n our prisons.  I very much support prison reform, getting prisons out of a for profit business, creating much more restorative practices, while also looking at the root causes for crimes and putting efforts into prevention and support, and finding ways to support healing and growth, and in the meantine, and as part of that reform, increasing the staff's ability to respond with mindfulness, care, and respect will hopefully have less negative impact on those incarcerated. 

One story I heard in the prison from another volunteer was that an inmate in the women's prison was in segregation, on Christmas Eve. And she had taken the Nonviolent Communication and mindfulness classes. She ended up in segregation when someone picked a fight with her and she defended herself.  There was a woman in the cell next to her night after night having nightmares and screaming out in the night.  The other inmates would yell at her and say "shut up!"  She remembered a meditation she had listened to in the class that had helped her so she said,
"Would you like a meditation?"
The woman in distress said, "Yes! I'd love some medication to make this stop!"
So she said, "No, a Meditation, not medication."
"Oh, sure."
She continued to recount the self-compassionate meditation, and the woman slept that night without nightmares for the first time in years! 

I also get to learn about ways that NVC can be used that aren't as serving as I learn with my peers about making NVC accessible to all, and culturally and overall more sensitive to those who have experienced a chronic life of unmet needs, down through generations. (See Roxy Manning and her blogs for more learning!)

WHAT ELSE?  I also get to offer classes in my local community for people to learn to increase their emotional intelligence and awareness of their own patterns so they can take that into their interpersonal relationships, and into system change!
And I get to support NVC family camp and watch family after family find more effective, caring ways to be together while working with real issues. 

I hear story after story how people are responding differently and communicating much more in alignment with their values, the values we all share, bringing compassion and responsibility.  Speaking to truth, hearing each other's pain, and finding ways to meet as many needs as possible. 


AND I have a vulnerable request to make. Many of the communities I am part of or support try to increase accessibility to offerings so that anyone can learn NVC.  And there are many resources needed to complete the 3-5 year journey to become a certified trainer. We have been experimenting with a gift economy and try to share resources in the community as best we can.  And we often fall short of the need for sustainability.  I would like to try a new level of the experiment to increase inclusion, accessibility, ease and economic justice fo all and that's where you come in!

BOLD REQUEST: Would you be willing to consider becoming a member of my circle of support?  Could you make a monthly donation to support the work of the candidates I support; the offerings I bring to schools, individuals, families, students, organizations, the work in the prisons; the programs I offer online; OR to fNVC amily camp that I support?
 $30 a month could support a trainer candidate
$650 could support someone to attend NVC family camp.
or $20 a month could help someone take a class in Compassionate Communication
$50 a month could support a person of color to become an NVC trainer

If you're inspired, you can use Pay Pal to donate to the Trainer Candidate Community Path that supports candidates for certification in NVC. The fiscal agent is a nonprofit called the Center for Compassionate Communication of Ohio (CCCO).  Put  "TCCP" in the message on paypal.
pay to:  [email protected].

AND if you want to support me directly in the work I offer to individuals, communities, families, students, organizations, faith communities, trainer candidates, the prison, etc. you can donate to: 
paypal to:
[email protected]
You can designate a program and let me know if you want to make a monthly donation. 

To contribute to scholarships for families to get to NVC family camp donate to:
send a check to:
Douglas Dolstad
NWCompass
11205 Southwest Corbin Beach Road #2, Vashon, WA 98070. USA
Put NVC Family camp DONATION in the memo line

Freedom Project Seattle go to http://freedomprojectwa.org/donate/
Freedom Project Seattle provides Nonviolent Communicaiton, Mindfulness, and Racial Equity work for volunteers and people incarcerated in Washington state prisons.

DONATIONS to TCCP via Center for Compassionate Communication of Ohio (CCCO), Freedom Project,  or to NVC family camp via Northwest Compassionate Communication, are all tax deductible in that they are each a 501 c3 nonprofit. 

THANK YOU for your support. Remember, no amount is too small. It all adds up and supports a world that works for all. 

(If you're interesred in economic justice see "Sacred Economics".

warmly, Marcia Christen
Certified Trainer with the Center for Nonviolent Communicaiton